The Path
by Ninja-fu
Summary: How did things get so bad, so quick? Takes place sometime after Wrecked and all events leading to it has happened.
1. The Path

The Path  
Part 1 of 3  
Disclaimers: Characters belong to Joss, blah, blah, blah…  
Notes: Takes place sometime after Wrecked and all events leading to it have happened. From Tara's point of view.  
Special Thanks: to Paul for beta-ing

---

How did I get here?

How did things get so bad, so quick? Where did it go wrong? At what point did I take a wrong turn, a left instead of a right.

I look out the window and onto the train platform. I see a family walking up to the train. The parents dragging the luggage with one arm and swinging their little boy with the other.

They're here, they're on the same train out of Sunnydale. Ah, but they're happy and together, I tell myself.

I watch them as they get on the same car as me, taking seats three rows ahead of me. I watch them with a tinge of jealousy as they put their luggage in the overhead compartments. They don't bicker, they don't fight over seats, they're a family and they're happy.

How come they get to be happy and I don't? Why doesn't the world feel my pain? For a split second I wish that, wherever that they are going I hope that they have a horrible time, just for a split second before the guilt kicks in. No, no one should ever feel what I feel right now.

The father kisses the mother before picking up his son and tickling the boy in his lap. I turn to look out the window again and sigh. The train slowly pulls out of the station. Someone's cell phone starts to ring and all I think about is how did I get here?

Ring…

Ring…

---

Ring…

I jump.

Ring…

Just the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Tara, its me Dawn."

I smile. "Hey Dawnie. What's going on?"

"Nothing much. I was wondering if you want to come over for dinner tonight?"

After the last time I went to their place, the awkward level would be way too much. "I don't think…"

Sensing my hesitation she quickly interrupts. "Buffy and Willow are doing the research and patrol thing tonight." She assures me. "Which means I have no food to eat at home, so I'm gonna have to call takeout and do you really trust a 16 year old to order something even resembling a healthy meal?"

I can't help but giggle. She knows me too well. I can picture a smug smile on her lips at the other end of the line.

"Okay but how about I take you out for dinner?" I ask.

"Yay!" she replies enthusiastically.

"I'll meet you at your place at six."

" 'kay, see you tonight. Bye."

"Bye." Click.

Finally something to look forward to. I look at my textbook and notes. Ugh, but homework first.

---

Summers' residence. I look at my watch. 6:00pm on the dot. You learn to be punctual in Sunnydale especially after dark or else people make assumptions and become overtly concerned.

Knock. Knock.

I hear the frantic footsteps of an excited teen. The door swings open and I'm greeted by a hug before I even get to say Hi.

"I miss you too." I pull back and thank the monks for leaving the Slayer strength out of her DNA or else my ribs would be seeing major damage even though she only hugged me with one arm. It still pains me to see that sling. "So you ready to go?" I ask.

Dawn steps back to grab her coat and keys while I continue to stand outside, unwilling to cross the threshold, staring at what use to be my home. My home… I've lived in a lot of different places in my life but I've only ever had one home and now even that isn't mine anymore. The hall lights go off and she appears at the door again.

"Yep" She turns to lock the door. "And don't worry I left a note for Buffy telling her that I'm out to dinner with you. I've also made sure that everything is turned off and all the doors and windows are locked."

I smile and shake my head. She really knows me too well.

Dinner is blissfully peaceful. We talk about music, movies, boys, and tactfully avoid the serious topics and I am grateful to her for that.

"So how about a movie? Lord of the Rings is playing. Orlando Bloom for me and Liv Tylor for you." She wiggles her eyebrows while polishing off her sundae.

"I don't think so, it's almost ten and that's a three hour movie and you have school tomorrow." I tell her.

She pouts and we have a mini stare down before she switches to a different tactic. The Puppy Dog Face and I falter a bit. Oh, that was low move but I don't give in, not this time, but she doesn't budge either. This could be a while and it is getting dark out, so I compromise.

"Friday, we'll go see it Friday." I offer.

"Okay, fine." She rolls her eyes.

"C'mon, we better get going. Do you want me to drop you off at the Magic Box or at home?"

"Home's fine. They're probably out patrolling already and Anya will just make me do clean up work."

The walk home was thankfully quiet and demon-free. Both of us just enjoying a normal evening walk, a rarity on the Hellmouth. Before I know it we're back at her house. She holds the door open for me and like before I freeze at the doorway.

"I don't think that's a good idea, not after the last time." I said without looking away from the door.

"I understand." She replies softly. She steps back outside and closes the door. We move to the porch bench and she sits down next to me. There's an awkward silence. We both know that the subject we've been avoiding all night would eventually be brought up. I guess now's the time but she beats me to it.

"Look I'm not defending her or anything cause hey," she points to her sling "but I still believe that you two belong together."

"It's not that simple." I say quietly.

"I know but after…the incident, she's changed. She's really trying this time. I know that the spell she did on you and on all of us was wrong and bad, especially with the whole Glory thing but that night… I think that night she really scared herself and I believe that she realizes the consequences of doing magics." She looks at me, searching for some flicker of hope but I remain silent.

She tries again. "If it helps, I forgive her."

I turn to look away. My tears start to brim. If it were that simple, if all it took was a single phrase to heal my heart. Oh, how I wish…

"She needs help, she needs you." Dawn pleads.

"She does need help which is why I'm relying on you and Buffy to help her and look after her because my being here will be too much of a reminder, too much of a temptation to use magic again."

"Not true…" she tries to reason.

"Oh, Dawnie." I interrupt. I have to stop her before she eventually breaks my resolve. "She has to sort out her own issues before we can even address ours."

Snap.

We both turn to look to the side of the house where the sound originated. She then turns to me, her eyes wide. I motion for her to get inside and she complies, then I feel under the bench and grab one of the many stakes that I know Buffy stashes throughout the house. I don't know what good it'll do considering whatever this thing is, it isn't a vampire because it's breathing like a broken diesel engine. I also don't know why I'm actually going to check this out. Because if it is a demon then it'll probably break into the house and hurt Dawn, I tell myself. But I'm not the cool monster fighter nor am I proficient with a stake but any weapon is better then none.

"B-Buffy, is that you?" Nothing. "Hello, i-is somebody there?"

I slowly inch to the edge of the house. Maybe it's not a demon, maybe it's just the neighbours. I peek around the house. Oh shit. It's a demon. A very big demon. A very big, hairy, and sharp claws and teeth demon. The stake in my hand suddenly feels like a toothpick. I look up…and up to meet its eyes and they start glowing red. I slowly back away. It starts to growl and I turn to run.

I make it to the front lawn before I feel its hand grab my neck, its claws puncturing my skin. This can't be good. A spell, c'mon brain give me a spell but it's too late. The demon lifts me off the ground and the sudden added pressure on my neck completely cuts off my air supply. I struggle against it. I kick and punch and pull and scratch but I don't even think the demon feels it. My vision dims, the blood starts to pound in my ears, and my limbs feel too heavy to move anymore. I hear voices in the background or at least I think I hear voices, this could just be the part where my life flashes before my eyes. I hear Willow's voice… Hear her laugh. Feel her touch...

Suddenly the grip around my neck loosens a bit and I regain a breath of air. I look down to see a blonde blur hitting the demon followed by a red blur.

"Buffy. Willow." I gasp but I seriously doubt any sound came out.

I push harder but the demon is stronger, his claws digging deeper into my neck. I can feel the blood trickling down my chest. Buffy is caught by a backhand and sent crashing into one of the porch beams. I try warning Willow but she too is flung behind me and I can twist my head just enough to see her slam into a tree. She quickly gets up and I'm surprised because I don't think the Slayer is even up yet. Then I hear it all around me, the humming, a build-up of mystical energy.

Oh No.

The hairs on my arms stand on end. The intensity is hurting my ears. Apparently it's hurting the demons' as well because it drops me and staggers back a bit while tearing at its ears. I land on my back, the air exploding into my lungs and I take desperate gasps of air. I slowly roll over to look for Willow and I find her by the tree surrounded by red lightning. I yell for her to stop but she can't hear me, I can't even hear me. Too late, damn it! Always too late. The lightning gathers in her hands and as I duck down the energy is unleashed and I hear something akin to a muffled explosion followed by a distant crash. I look up to see Willows' prone figure at the base of the tree.

"Willow!" I croak out as I stumble and crawl over to her.

No please don't be… Not like this…

I stagger to her side and gently cradle her. She doesn't respond.

"Willow?" I squeak out

Nothing.

"Baby, please open your eyes." I plead.

Her eyes flutter open and relief washes over me as I look into those magnificent green orbs. She smiles and whispers my name. At this point I can no longer hold my tears back. I gather her up in my arms and hug her. When I put her back down she's out again.

"Oh god!" What did I do?

I quickly check for a pulse. It's weak but it's there. Frantically I look around, Xander and Dawn are standing on the porch. I yell at them to call an ambulance. Xander goes back inside while Dawn goes to help her sister up.

Flashing lights are suddenly everywhere. Red and blue, red and blue, red and blue.

"We'll take it from here Miss."

Be careful she's…

"Please step back Miss."

But she's…

"What's your name Miss?"

Is she…

"Let's have those paramedics look at your neck Miss."

And then there's no more flashing lights, just white.

I look up from the hospital floor and I see the entire gang around me: talking, pacing, and fidgeting. I don't know which is worse, coming here as a patient or as a visitor…or both. I pick at the bandage around my neck, it's chaffing me and the chair is uncomfortable but serves its purpose, as I can't rely on my legs holding me up at this moment. Buffy walks over and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. I look up and try to say thank you but the words get stuck by the lump in my throat. She understands though and offers me a smile back. She's about to say something but then the doctor finally arrives. The gang goes to gather around him but I still can't get up. My arms are gripping onto the chair as if it were my last lifeline, funny that I now seek comfort in what must be one of the most uncomfortable chairs in the world. I'm afraid, so afraid of hear the bad news. Maybe if don't hear it then it's not real. Maybe if I just plug my ears and don't listen.

Buffy notices my absence from the group and comes back to carefully pry me out of the chair and help me up. She guides me over to the others while I rely on her slayer strength to keep me up.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Sorenson. Are you the family of Willow Rosenberg?" He asks.

Buffy nods. Not the immediate family but the actual family that matters, so not really a lie. "So how is she?"

"Miss. Rosenberg suffered a mild concussion, a hairline crack on one of her ribs, and some minor bumps and bruises. Nothing really serious but I am concerned though, she seems to show signs that might indicate that she has a eating disorder or substance problems, does she…?"

"No! She'd never…" Buffy replies but unable to finish. I know that she feels guilty. Guilty for not seeing the signs, for not being there to help, and for not stopping her. Oh Buffy, it's not your fault, I was with her and I didn't see it until it was too late. It's actually more of my fault.

"Its just stress. Our family has had a lot to deal with lately. Can we see her?" she asks.

He scribbles something in the medical chart that he's holding before continuing.

"Yes, this way please." He leads us to her room. "She's probably not going to wake up until tomorrow and we will probably keep her for an extra day for observation. Now all of you can only stay for about an hour before the nurse will ask you to leave. This is because visiting hours are over but I've talked to them to let you stay for a bit. You can all come back tomorrow." He leaves and the room is silent.

No one knows what to do or say. They all look at me, waiting for me to make a move. So I oblige. I go over to the bed and sit down on the edge taking her hand in mine. They all relax a bit and collectively let go a breath of relief. I don't know what they were expecting me to do? To yell, to rant and rave about the consequences of magics, or to just turn around and run out. Run out…I always run. An ugly thought rears its head. Maybe it's time for me to run again. If this is how it's going to be every time then it maybe the only way that it'll stop hurting her I rationalize. Buffy approaches from behind.

"Are you okay?" she asks softly.

"I'm fine. The doctor said it was minor scratches and bruises. I'll heal." I answer without look away from Willow. Yeah, those will heal but what about my heart? Will it heal when I have to do what I have to do?

I know that's not what Buffy meant when she asked that question but right now my emotions is too much on a rollercoaster ride to properly answer. I also know that Buffy isn't going to be satisfied with that and will probably try again. So I stop her before she can try.

"Can I have a moment alone with Willow?" I ask quietly.

"Of course. We'll be just outside, okay?"

I nod in reply and she starts to usher everyone else out. I turn to look at Willow again. Her red hair standing out in contrast to her pale face and the white sheets, like a fiery halo. I brush a stray strand aside.

"Is this how it's going to be every time?" I whisper. "I can't be here if I know that this is what you'll be doing every time. Its hurting the both of us and its going to end up killing one of us. I think I have to leave, it's the only way and I'm sorry that I'm too much of a coward to wait until you get up but it's easier this way in the long run. I know you'll hate me for doing this but know that I still love you."

I lean down to kiss her. A single tear escapes and falls on her cheek. I brush it away with my thumb.

"Always and forever."

I get up to leave. As I reach the door, I turn for one last look before I walk out on my love, on my life. Buffy looks at me expectantly. I can't meet her eyes, afraid that she'll find out.

"I'm ok, really. S-she's still out." I try to reassure her. She doesn't believe me but she knows that she won't get anything from me.

"Do you want to come home with us tonight?" She offers.

I politely decline but I do take up Xander's offer of a ride back to my place. The ride was quiet, the tension in the car was as thick as molasses. Upon arrival at my dorm, both Buffy and Dawn provided hugs, reassurances, and support. I try to smile back at them but it doesn't reach my eyes. I can tell by their worried glances. I look around my new dorm, most of my stuff is still in boxes. I never really tried to get settled here because I always thought I would go back to my family, not the ones with my blood but the ones in my heart.

I sigh. At least this will make leaving easier.

---

The Summers' residence again. The porch again. Three times in one night, you'd think I was drawn to this place or something.

"You going somewhere?" I hear from a voice behind me.

"B-Buffy!" I jump a bit.

Damn her slayer abilities, she's always so quiet when she needs to be stealthy. She looks at me suspiciously.

"I swung by after patrol to see if you wanted to talk. I saw you leaving with your bags and followed you back here." She pauses a bit to lean on the good porch beam that's left. "Why'd you come back? I mean you're obviously going to run, so why'd you come back?"

I nervously fidget with the envelope in my hands. Buffy notices so I lift it up to show her.

"I wanted to at least give you guys an explanation. You deserve more then just a letter but I couldn't say it face to face because I know all of you would try to stop me."

"Damn right we would!" she says with force.

"And I don't know how long my resolve would've last if you guys really pushed for me to stay." I continued.

She nods towards the letter.

"Well since you're here, save me from the reading and just give me the gist of it. Like the why part."

"Because I'm hurting her." I say with sorrow.

"No, she's hurting herself. That's why she needs all of us to help her. We're a family, we need you, she needs you." Buffy pleads.

"Buffy" I sigh. "I just… I need to breathe again because it seems like I've been holding my breath for the longest time. Always waiting for something to set her off."

She gives me a sympathetic look before realization dawns upon her face.

"You're not leaving for her, you're leaving for yourself." She states.

I flash her a glare but her face suddenly softens and she continues before I can argue.

"And I understand that. I've been where you're at, so I know no matter what I say you're still going to leave. Just some advice, no matter where you go it doesn't really get better. The pain is always going to be there, it's the life we live. It's those who we surround ourselves with that make it hurt a little less. You have family here, we'll always be here for you."

I don't want to believe. I want to think that it will heal with time but one look into her eyes and I know that's a lie. There is so much pain in those eyes. There is so much pain between all of us. What did we do to deserve the pain of the world?

"Have you decided where you gonna go?" she ask quietly.

"Los Angelas." I shrug. "It was the first train out tomorrow morning. I'd figure I would decide on the final place when I get there."

"Here wait, let me get you something."

She quickly walks to the door, unlocks it and heads inside. For the third time tonight I still can't go in. I wait outside by the door. She shows up again and hands me a piece of paper, it has a phone number on it.

"It's Angel's, actually Angel Investigations. If you need help when you're there, well they help the helpless." She gives me a weak smile. "But call us when you get wherever you're going, or anytime, or if you need help, or just want to talk, or when you want to come back, okay?"

I nod and smile then I hear noises from upstairs followed by a voice.

"Buffy? Is that you, I heard the door and talking." A groggy Dawn appears at the top of the stairway. She finally notices me after a couple of seconds and her eyes go wide. "Tara?"

She quickly comes down the stairs and heads straight into me for a hug.

"Are you ok? Are you staying here tonight? You can room with me if you don't want to sleep in your old room." Her voice slightly muffled by my shoulder.

"No Dawnie, umm I just came to say good-bye."

"Good-bye?" she questions.

I know I'm going to hate this part. "I'm leaving."

She pulls back a bit to look at me. "What are you talking about, you already moved out?" Then realization hits her. The look on her face pains me and I quickly look away.

"No! You can't! She's getting better, it was just this one time that's all." I can hear the desperation in her voice. Then she holds on to me even tighter. "I need you too. Please don't leave." I hear between muffled sobs.

"I'm sorry." I kiss the top of her head and I whisper, "I love you. Be good."

"Dawn…" Buffy slowly pries her off of me.

I hand Buffy the envelope. "For her. Take care of her for me."

She nods before she grabs me for an embrace. Her slayer strength in addition to my attempt at holding in my tears is making it hard for me to breathe. She disentangles and recomposes herself.

"Take care." and offers me one last squeeze on my arms.

I nod and whisper a heartfelt good-bye. I turn around and head towards the awaiting cab. I walk the hardest 15 steps in my life. I get into the taxi and tell the cabbie where I want to go. As he pulls away, I follow their porch light and wait until it fades from view before I finally breakdown and cry. The reality of the situation hits me like the truck that creamed Glory not so long ago. Sobs wrack my body. I'm pretty sure the cabbie is giving me strange looks but I don't care. I didn't even cry when I left my house to come to Sunnydale. I manage to pull myself together by the time we reach the train station and the cabbie offers me a sympathetic look as I pay him. I grab my luggage and head up to the platform. I look at the train and all I can think is…

How did I get here?

---


	2. Detour

The Detour  
Part 2 of 3  
Disclaimers: Characters belong to Joss, blah, blah, blah…  
Notes: Takes place sometime after Wrecked and all events leading to it has happened. From Willow's point of view. Thoughts in _italics_.

---

"Faster Buffy, faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can Will but there are other cars in front of me. This is a Jeep Cherokee not a monster truck."

Damn it…Damn it to hell. It's not supposed to happen this way. Damn her…Wait no, not her, never her. Why did she have to leave? Wake up Rosenberg, she left you weeks ago.

Okay fine but she's not supposed to leave town. We were supposed to get back together. Kiss and make up, be all sunshine and puppies again. I was getting better, she was supposed to wait for me to get better.

_Getting better? Who are we kidding here? Remember big dark spell to launch big dark demon halfway down the block._

Well it was a life or death situation and considering it was Tara's life or death, I'd rather risk a mad Tara then a dead Tara and you'd think she would be more grateful. Saving her life and all.

_Hey, a spell is a spell is a spell._

And what's that supposed to mean?

_Don't ask me it's your own thoughts here. You said it yourself, you were willing to risk the consequences, and well her leaving is the consequences. Deal with it!_

Damn it… Damn me.

---

"I'm sorry ladies, the road is closed for repairs."

This can't be happening. Not today, not now. I look at the officer standing next to Buffy. He's probably said that line dozens of times today, variations of that single line that means nothing to him but the end of the world for me.

"It's an emergency." I plead.

He must've seen the genuine desperation in my eyes because his face softens just a bit.

"I'm sorry Miss, even if I let you through the road is just not in any condition fit for a vehicle to drive on. Now if you follow the detour signs it will lead you around in the fastest available route."

Buffy turns and follows the detour signs. I look at the clock embedded in the dashboard trying to slow time by shear will. The more I stare at it, the more it mocks me with its non-stop moving seconds.

"We'll make it." She says reassuringly.

"Why didn't you stop her?" I turn to ask.

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you make her stay?"

"You think I didn't try?" She replies a bit shocked.

"I'm just saying, you're the Slayer, if you wanted her to stay you would've found a way to make her stay."

"What did you want me to do, tie her to a chair?"

"Well you haven't been Miss effort lately." I wince. I regret those words the moment they leave my mouth. It was harsh and uncalled for.

Buffy doesn't immediately respond. She grips the steering wheel. I can hear the squeak of the straining leather. Then through clenched teeth she slowly replies.

"I did ask her to stay. I made it very clear that we needed and wanted her around. I told her that this will always be her home but she had made her decision and I had to respect her decision." She said the last line pointedly.

"I'm sorry." I say dejected. "And you're right, it is her choice but I have to try. At least when she was still in Sunnydale, I had a chance. A possibility. That small bit of hope that kept me going but if she leaves I won't even have that. Not being able to touch her or hold her was bad enough but the very thought of never seeing her again is too much. I'll die without her."

She relaxes and places her hand on my arm.

"I understand."

And I know she does. We've both had our share of loves and losses and I offer her a weak smile. I turn to look out my window. I see the houses whipping by. Sunnydale, our little piece of hell on earth. This place has brought us so much pain and suffering but we stay because we are the keepers of the gate of Hell. Some by destiny and some by choice. We started out wanting to be heroes but what if we want to be normal again? Can we build a life here? Can we settle down and have a family knowing what we know?

"What if it's us?" I ask.

"What if what is us?" the blonde asks, confused.

"What if the reason they all keep on leaving is because of us? What can we offer them Buffy? A normal life, not likely, not with what we do. All we can guarantee is pain and suffering, the side effects of life on the Hellmouth."

She pauses for a bit before quietly responding. "I'm sorry Will for bringing you into this. You could've gone to any school in the world be some big name genius but instead you're stuck here with me."

"No Buffy, you're mistaken. I don't regret meeting you. In fact being with you has made me a stronger person. I'm just saying that we said a long time ago that we're never going to have a normal relationship, not on the Hellmouth."

"We did?"

"Remember, Xander and the bug lady? And me and my 'online-boyfriend-is-really-a-demon-released-from-a-book'?"

"And I remember you said there's always hope. Look at Xander and Anya. They're getting married and if a thousand year old ex-demon can find marital bliss with _Xander_, then I refuse to give up. Now we are going to get Tara, she is going to stay and you two are going to live a long happy life together. Even if I have to kill everyone in this town to make sure that happens." Determined she pushes the Jeep a little more.

We pull up to the train station and my heart sinks. The train is already gone. I'm out of the car and running towards the platform before Buffy even stops the car. I hear her yelling for me from behind but I don't listen.

Maybe she didn't get on the train, maybe she changed her mind and decided to stay, maybe… Oh dear god let me have this maybe. But the platform is empty.

No…

The bathrooms. I run to the bathroom and check all the stalls. Empty, empty, and empty.

No…

I go back to the platform. She has to be here.

"Tara! Tara!" I yell up and down the platform. No answer.

She's really gone. I stumble towards the bench and fall hard onto it.

"Tara." My one last feeble attempt before the tears start to come.

Buffy sits down next to me and takes a hold of me. "I'm sorry Will."

I turn and bury my face into her shoulder as I cry. She puts her arms around me and offers me a tight squeeze.

"It's not supposed to happen this way, we were supposed to…" I hear the click of a door opening and I look up immediately. It's just the controller.

"I'm sorry ladies but the train left fifteen minutes ago. The next train will be here in an hour and a half. If you want tickets you can…" He is interrupted by his walkie-talkie.

"This is train 591 heading southbound from Sunnydale to Sunnydale Control. We seem to have a breach in one of our cars. We require service and repairs." There's a pause and we all hear a crash in the background. "Hold on we seem to have a situation here." Followed my more crashing in the background but this time we also hear frantic screaming.

Oh no.

All three us are listening to the walkie-talkie intently. "Oh my god… static …'s a monster on the… static … Help! Hel…" We hear before he's cut off by permanent static.

Buffy and I exchange looks, we both have the same thoughts running through our head.

"Tara!" We say in unison and we run for the car.

For the first time I actually out-ran Buffy to the car. In the two seconds it takes for her to catch up, I'm already borderlining on hysterical. Please don't let anything happen to her, please don't let anything happen to her. I repeat this mantra in my head over and over again.

"Faster Buffy, faster."

---


	3. Dead Ends and New Beginnings

Dead Ends and New Beginnings  
Part 3 of 3  
Disclaimers: Characters belong to Joss, blah, blah, blah…  
Notes: Takes place sometime after Wrecked and all events leading to it has happened. From Tara's point of view.

---

I'm really starting to hate this place.

The first thing I notice is the sounds. The beeps and hums from the monitors, the hiss from the pumps. The next thing is the smell or in this case the lack of any, that's probably because something in my nose. I slowly reach up. It's a tube. Right, the hiss, it's the oxygen tube. I open my eyes but everything is too bright and blurry. As my vision slowly adjusts a figure appears but all I see is a silhouette against the light.

"Hey there." It greets.

I try to focus and I notice the blonde locks so I reply. "Hey Buffy."

"You know we really have to stop coming here." She mockingly berates.

"They're going to name a wing after us." I joke.

"They should at least offer us Frequent Flyer Miles." She plays along.

"So it's agreed. We'll stick to the Bronze for hanging out. The hospital food and atmosphere just doesn't compare."

"Hey! Don't be dissing the hospital jello."

I chuckle a bit, which causes her to smile. Then she turns to look behind her.

"Should I wake her?" she asks.

I turn my head to follow where she's looking and curled up like a cat is Willow sleeping in the chair. I lose myself for a moment just watching her breathe. I smile wistfully.

"No, let her sleep... Wait, isn't she supposed to be in bed too?" I turn back to Buffy. "How long was I out?"

"A couple of days."

A couple of days!?! "W-What happened?"

"Willow found out about you leaving and she checked herself out. Hey don't give me that look, she's my best friend. What was I supposed to do? She then guilted me into helping her look for you so we went to the train station but we were too late. We heard that your train was being attacked by a demon so we came for the rescue."

"Did she…" I had to ask.

"No." she reassures me. "She helped by getting the passengers out of the way. The non-magical way." She tags on the last line for my benefit.

"The passengers…the little boy, is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine. We found him shielded by you underneath the rubble. Actually his family came by earlier to see how you were doing." She nods towards the bedside table and I turn to see it filled with flowers, cards, and a teddy bear. "They want me to call them the moment you're awake so they can thank you personally for saving their son."

"And the demon? It looked like the one from the house."

"It was but it's of the slayed variety now. Anya and Xander did the research thing. It's...it was a soul harvester. It seeks out mystical souls. We think that's why it kept on following you. It's pretty low on the totem pole of intelligence and it doesn't really like to work in groups so we think it was a one-off but just in case we're going to keep an eye out for you okay?"

"Thanks." I reply gratefully.

I try to sit up but searing pain shoots up my back and I can't help but to let out a grunt. Which causes the sleeping redhead to wake up immediately. It takes her a minute to figure out the unfamiliar surroundings but she eventually spots me and quickly heads over to the opposite side of the bed to Buffy.

"Whoa, easy there." Buffy carefully lifts me up with one arm while Willow repositions my pillow so I can comfortably lean back against the headboard.

"Are you okay? Do you need the nurse?" She asks, concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Thanks." I say to the both of them as they dote around me like old grandmothers.

Buffy notices that Willow and I are making every effort to avoid each other's eyes. I know that she can feel the tension between us.

"You know what I'm gonna go give the rest of the gang a call to let them know you're awake. You two talk while I'm gone, okay?" she orders, and then slowly backs out of the room.

Willow busies herself with my blankets. Neither of us says anything for five minutes before she finally looks up at me.

"Do you hate me that much that you couldn't even stay in the same town?" she asks sadly.

"No, I loved you that much to leave you." I reply solemnly.

"What kind of fuzzy logic is that?!" incredulous.

I try to stifle a giggle but I know that she caught it by the dirty look she gives me.

"It's not funny." She says seriously.

"I know, I know... Someone once told me that when you love someone so much, you become willing to give up everything for them… What did magic give you that I couldn't?" I ask.

Her anger quickly dissipates. She sighs and sits on the side of the bed facing the dark window overlooking the town.

"For the most of my life no one really saw me. Not my parents. None of the kids at school. Not even Xander. It wasn't until I met Buffy did people finally start to notice I existed and even then everyone saw her first. I was just her pale, geeky shadow. Magic made people notice me. Magic made you notice me."

"No, someone named Willow Rosenberg made me notice you. Magic may have brought me to you that night but it was you that I fell in love with." I wait for her reaction but she doesn't turn around. So I continue." For the most of _my_ life, I tried to hide. To hide from the mean kids at school. To hide my sexuality, my magic, and from my family who disapproved of both. It wasn't until I met you that I actually start to live. You made me stop hiding Willow. Without magics, just you."

"I just wanted to contribute. Buffy was saving the world every night with her Slayer powers. Magic was something I could master, something I could control to help people."

"See that's the thing. Magic isn't about control. It's a gift. It's about giving and receiving. It's asking the goddess and the elements to grant you a favour in return for your responsibility with the gift." I explain.

"I did it to save people."

"Dark magics done for good intentions are still dark magics."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, eh?"

"No, it's paved with frozen door-to-door salesmen. On weekends many of the younger demons go ice skating down it." I say with a grin.

"Very funny." She flashes me a look.

"What? It was a good book."

She can't help but smile. "It was."

And we finally look at each other. I mean really look at each other and it's like the first time again. When we first got stuck in the laundry room, we knew then before we actually really knew each other. Just like now we know that if we strip away the recent events, the magics, our own insecurities and fears, what's left between us is passion, pure unadulterated love. If I could I would take this moment, where everything around us and the rest of the world has cease to existed, and live in it forever. I want to hold on to this moment and create a new universe around it.

She takes my hands into hers. "So where does this leave us?"

Hopefully with each other? "I don't know."

"Please don't go. I'll really stop this time. I'll do anything for you." She pleads.

"No." I reply and her expression falls. "Don't do it for me, or for Buffy, or even for the world. Do it for yourself. Anything else would be for the wrong intentions and deep down you know that."

She nods in reply. She then notices that I haven't said that I'll stay, so she asks again.

"Are you still going to leave?"

I hesitate just a bit. "No, but I'm not ready to move back in with you guys yet."

She's a little disappointed with that but is willing to accept it over my previous choice.

"That's still better then what I had two days ago." She says with a weak smile.

I pat the side of the bed and she lies down next to me. The road to love and life is tricky at best. A lot of us get lost along the way but a while ago we made a promise to always find each other. I have every intention of keeping that promise. The past is gone and the future is ahead. There are no guarantees but we're going walk this road together, slowly and one step at a time. I turn and give her a feather light kiss. Starting…

Right here. Right now.

---

FIN


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